Game Reports
Triple Threat 53 Anorexic Santas 21
Drawing a clear advantage from their “Laser Pointer Give-Away” promotion, the top seed
Triple Threat (12-3) avoided the first round troubles that so many other teams in the
league have endured over the years by easily defeating Anorexic Santas (6-9). With
League MVP shoe-in Tom Brady matching the entire Anos line-up, the game quickly became
a laugher.
Off the field, things were not so funny, as a drunken fan dressed as Santa, puked all
over a young girl, touching off a riot between the Santas and whatever people would
dress up as with a team name like Triple Threat. After the game, the Trip PR man
called the fans classless, while the Ano coach puzzled the crowd with his “had a
good run” comments.
Sinister Ministers 64 Lay Z Boy 48
In what looked like the closest game on paper, Sinister Ministers (9-6) blew it open
with double-digit scores from three different players, lead by team leader Randy Moss.
Lay Z Boy (8-7) got some good scores from team leaders Brett Favre and LT, but a weak
WR corps was their undoing. The Ministers now face the Trips, with the big question
looming over both teams being, “When will the Patriots start resting their starters?”
Ebonic Plague 32 Catholic Nun and the Posse 23
In a blood feud, that predates the league, and believed by some crackpots to predate
civilization itself, Ebonic Plague (8-7) and their stout defense beat
time-to-change-the-name, Catholic Nun and the Posse (8-7). “No fair” exclaimed the Nun
coach, “I won my division and should have had a bye this weekend”, ignoring the fact
that he had the worst record of the three division winners.
The Nuns have been hot and cold all year, and picked a bad week to be cold. The Ebs,
with no clear leader on the team (or tight end), managed to win again. Despite being
nearly last in points scored, they are now one game away from the Souper Bowl.
Whohawho 53 Fighting Sioux 43
It happens every year, and this year it was the number Two seed, Fighting Sioux (10-5),
getting ousted in their first game. Adding salt to the wound was that the non-word,
but at least its not a clear plumbing reference, Whohawho (8-7), the clearly inferior
team, was the one that will be moving on. “We played our hearts out for this game”
claimed unlikely star, Earnest Graham, “Anything else we do from here on in is just a
bonus.” In the end, the lack of depth at QB and too much depth at RB was the Fight’s
undoing. “Obviously we are disappointed in this result.” admitted their team counselor,
"but now we just have to focus on the Toilet Bowl and points crown."
