Another MX Bob Lyric - Goodbye Enormous Jeans
(sung to the tune of Candle in the Wind by Elton John)

Goodbye Enormous Jeans
Though you always fit me quite well
The waist band kept getting slack
as much of my weight fell
I kept you in my bottom drawer
There was only room for you
You're made of enough denim
to make a tent or two

And it seems to me I was quite content
living life quite overweight
Never counting calories
or avoiding cake
And I would have probably stayed fat
for the rest of my shortened life
I started drinking SlimQuick
at the urging of my wife

Losing weight was tough
And so was skipping meals
I finally got to see my shoes
but pain was the price I paid
So even when I die
all my friends will have to say
I'm glad he lost all that weight
No hernias for the pallbearers today

And it seems to me that I lived my life
like a food eating machine
I may have been gigantic
but at least I was clean
And now I do commercials
for this awful diet drink
I pretend that it tastes so good
and then spit it in a sink

Goodbye Enormous Jeans
from the young man much slimmer now
Who sees you as something of a symbol
of the weight that had to go

Now it seems to me that I live my life
like a Richard Simmons clone
I am sick of frozen yogurt
I want an ice cream cone
Yes, I'll continue to work out
at least three to four times a week
and continue this obsession
of this thin body I seek