Installment Two - Another Draft

When we left our story’s apparent protagonist, Mike, he was just leaving his house and heading to a fantasy football draft. As he was driving down the familiar road, his mind drifted towards over-analysis of his circumstances, as was his tendency. “Let’s see, why did I agree to do this again? This will be a lot of work for just a few free drinking sessions. I won’t know anybody in the league except Duane. Did I bring enough markers? That Taco Bell is new.“

His thoughts were thankfully interrupted as he pulled into the driveway and walked back towards the garage location of the draft. “There he is, late as usual”, was Duane’s opening salvo. “Neat are you!” came a voice from somewhere in the crowd, obviously someone setting an aggressive early drinking pace. “Who’d of thought they’d all be early?” Mike muttered under his breath (another frequent tendency).

Mike got set up, Duane made the introductions, and everything seemed good. Mike had some foggy recollections of a few of them from previous drinking-related “sports” events such as darts, pool, and foosball. There was the obligatory Darrin Nelson reference, a few unusual drinking rules, but otherwise it was quite similar to most of the other drafts Mike had been to.

Throughout the night, he couldn’t help but how ill at ease one of them seemed. They called him Crappie for some reason, although Mike was about 50 percent sure that his real name was Keith and was even more sure that Keith didn’t particularly care for his nickname. Keith just didn’t seem like a happy camper. A clinched-smile when his picks were ridiculed. An angry snarl as the person in front of him selected “his” pick. Even his team name, “I Know Where You Live” had a subtlety menacing tone to it.

As most of the guys filed out shortly after the Mr. Irrelevant pick, the few hard drinking ones remained to fill Mike in on Crappie and just what he had gotten himself into.

What terrible secrets will be revealed to Mike by the Three Tequila Musketeers ? (as they dubbed themselves)

Will what they say, in fact, turn out to be something somewhat uninteresting?

If the previous question is answered “Yes”, then what is really the point of all this?

To find out answers to these and other red-herring questions, tune in for the next installment of… Football Attraction (scary music fade-out)

Originally appeared in RABEFL News - Volume 14, Week 2

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