Installment One - Opening Kickoff

“All right. Who’s drinking Old Style in a can?” Already the taunting and psychological gamesmanship that is the sport of Fantasy Football had begun. Even the pre-draft beer choice was fair game for heckling. But mixed in the crowd, behind the false smile and clumsy inability to return humorous banter, was one man, wearing a mask, looking at his fellow players with a mix of loathing and disgust. One man whose path seemed inevitably drawn to tragedy.

But I get ahead of myself.

“So where you going tonight? I thought you had your football thing already.”

“Yes, I had my usual football draft,” Mike responded, always with the subtle corrections to his wife, “This is the one where I’ll be the interim commissioner until the regular guy gets out of dry-dock.”

“So is it Ron and those guys?”, the dry-dock reference sailing right over Linda’s head.

“No. It’s just a bunch of guys that work with Duane at the Ford dealership. They said I only need to be the commissioner for the first few weeks and then someone else will do it. What could go wrong?” (Cue up ominous music in background)

“Getting paid in rum and Cokes again or maybe some cash for once?”

“You know how I like the barter system. I’m running late. Gots to go.”

What fate awaits Mike at the draft?

Will Linda ever get any of Mike’s obscure references?

For that matter, did anyone get that last barter system reference?

Will anyone continue to read this serial, given this start?

To find out answers to these and other semi-rhetorical questions, tune in for the next installment of… Football Attraction (scary music fade-out)

Originally appeared in RABEFL News - Volume 14, Week 1

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