Average Active Points by Position per Game
Game Results for Week 1
Sewage Serpents 64 Extended Area 48
Lay Z Boy 62 Inappropiate Figurines 62 (Tie)
Bar Stool Buddies 54 Electric Donkey Bottom Biters 37
Catholic Nun and the Posse 41 Injury Prone 36
Ebonic Plague 47 Hi Definition Weasels 41
Standings as of Week 1
Overall Home Away Division
W L T PF PA W L T W L T W L T
Itchy Division
Sewage Serpents 1 0 0 64 48 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Catholic Nun and the 1 0 0 41 36 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0
Inappropiate Figurine 0 0 1 62 62 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1
Lay Z Boy 0 0 1 62 62 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1
Injury Prone 0 1 0 36 41 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0
Scratchy Division
Bar Stool Buddies 1 0 0 54 37 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0
Ebonic Plague 1 0 0 47 41 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0
Extended Area 0 1 0 48 64 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0
Hi Definition Weasels 0 1 0 41 47 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0
Electric Donkey Botto 0 1 0 37 54 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0
Schedule for Week 2
Bar Stool Buddies (1-0) at Inappropiate Figurines (0-0-1)
Lay Z Boy (0-0-1) at Catholic Nun and the Posse (1-0)
Electric Donkey Bottom Biters (0-1) at Ebonic Plague (1-0)
Injury Prone (0-1) at Sewage Serpents (1-0)
Hi Definition Weasels (0-1) at Extended Area (0-1)
Transactions For Week 1
Current Tabs:
Sewage Serpents 60 Extended Area 60 Inappropiate Figurines 60
Bar Stool Buddies 60 Lay Z Boy 60 Electric Donkey Bottom Biters 60
Catholic Nun and the Posse 60 Ebonic Plague 60 Injury Prone 60
Hi Definition Weasels 60
Pot is now at 454 points
Points Played Percentages
Team Name Possible Actual Points Percentage Games
Points Points Lost Played Played
Electric Donkey Bottom Biters 40 37 3 92.50% 1
Lay Z Boy 68 62 6 91.18% 1
Inappropiate Figurines 71 62 9 87.32% 1
Ebonic Plague 55 47 8 85.45% 1
Catholic Nun and the Posse 48 41 7 85.42% 1
Sewage Serpents 75 64 11 85.33% 1
Injury Prone 50 36 14 72.00% 1
Hi Definition Weasels 60 41 19 68.33% 1
Bar Stool Buddies 83 54 29 65.06% 1
Extended Area 74 48 26 64.86% 1
Average Active Points by Position per Game
Team Name QB RB WR/TE SPE TEAM DEF TOTAL
Sewage Serpents 5.00 25.00 24.00 6.00 4.00 64.00
Extended Area 16.00 14.00 13.00 4.00 1.00 48.00
Inappropiate Figurines 7.00 37.00 12.00 5.00 1.00 62.00
Bar Stool Buddies 21.00 14.00 6.00 12.00 1.00 54.00
Lay Z Boy 11.00 31.00 2.00 11.00 7.00 62.00
Electric Donkey Bottom Biters 13.00 9.00 9.00 5.00 1.00 37.00
Catholic Nun and the Posse 11.00 12.00 8.00 8.00 2.00 41.00
Ebonic Plague 25.00 2.00 8.00 8.00 4.00 47.00
Injury Prone 7.00 7.00 13.00 7.00 2.00 36.00
Hi Definition Weasels 6.00 0.00 17.00 8.00 10.00 41.00
LEAGUE AVERAGES 12.20 15.10 11.20 7.40 3.30 49.20
Game Details
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Bar Stool Buddies 54 Electric Donkey Bottom Biters 37 Renamed Bar Stool Buddies started off their quest for a three-peat on the right foot, defeating division rival, Electronic Donkey Bottom Biters (to be referred to as EDBB for most of these stories). The Stools were using a different formula than the last year, riding a hot quarterback and team changing running back to victory. The Donkeys had balanced scoring, but not enough punch to keep with the alleged dynasty. |
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| Bar Stool Buddies | at | Electric Donkey Bottom Biters | ||||||
| Active Players | ||||||||
| QB | McNabb, Donovan | EAGL | 21 | QB | Garcia, Jeff | BRWN | 13 | |
| RB | Henry, Travis | BILL | 3 | RB | Johnson, Rudi | BNGL | 7 | |
| RB | Portis, Clinton | SKNS | 11 | RB | Lewis, Jamal | RAVN | 2 | |
| WR | Smith, Jimmy | JGRS | 3 | WR | Harrison, Marvin | COLT | 7 | |
| WR | Smith, Rod | BRNC | 3 | WR | Robinson, Koren | SEAH | 1 | |
| TE | Gonzalez, Tony | CHFS | 0 | TE | Winslow, Kellen | BRWN | 1 | |
| PK | Team PK, BRNC | BRNC | 12 | PK | Team PK, CWBY | CWBY | 5 | |
| DF | Team Defense, RAVN | RAVN | 1 | DF | Team Defense, CWBY | CWBY | 1 | |
| Reserve Players | ||||||||
| QB | Brooks, Aaron | SNTS | 6 | RB | Jones, Kevin | LION | 2 | |
| RB | Jones, Thomas | BEAR | 15 | RB | Staley, Duce | STLR | 3 | |
| WR | Glenn, Terry | CWBY | 9 | RB | Taylor, Fred | JGRS | 2 | |
| WR | Muhammad, Muhsin | PTHR | 8 | WR | Johnson, Keyshawn | CWBY | 4 | |
| PK | Team PK, SEAH | SEAH | 3 | WR | McCardell, Keenan | BUCS | 0 | |
| DF | Team Defense, SEAH | SEAH | 4 | WR | Northcutt, Dennis | BRWN | 0 | |
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Catholic Nun and the Posse 41 Injury Prone 36 Red ink hobbled, Catholic Nun and the Posse, kept their Boston fans happy, with a close win over Injury Prone. After the game, (Carlos) Santana (Rolling Stones gather no) Moss seemed justified with his 14th overall selection, “Those were two scary points I got today.” |
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| Catholic Nun and the Posse | at | Injury Prone | ||||||
| Active Players | ||||||||
| QB | Pennington, Chad | JETS | 11 | QB | Bulger, Marc | RAMS | 7 | |
| RB | McAllister, Deuce | SNTS | 1 | RB | Dillon, Corey | PATS | 3 | |
| RB | Smith, Onterrio | VIKS | 11 | RB | James, Edgerrin | COLT | 4 | |
| WR | Moss, Santana | JETS | 2 | WR | Bruce, Isaac | RAMS | 10 | |
| WR | Ward, Hines | STLR | 3 | WR | Chambers, Chris | DLPN | 1 | |
| TE | Heap, Todd | RAVN | 3 | WR | Mason, Derrick | TITN | 2 | |
| PK | Team PK, EAGL | EAGL | 8 | PK | Team PK, PCKR | PCKR | 7 | |
| DF | Team Defense, VIKS | VIKS | 2 | DF | Team Defense, DLPN | DLPN | 2 | |
| Reserve Players | ||||||||
| QB | Harrington, Joey | LION | 6 | QB | Green, Trent | CHFS | 1 | |
| RB | Fargas, Justin | RDRS | 0 | QB | Plummer, Jake | BRNC | 10 | |
| RB | Suggs, Lee | BRWN | 0 | RB | Dunn, Warrick | FALC | 14 | |
| RB | Westbrook, Brian | EAGL | 5 | RB | George, Eddie | CWBY | 1 | |
| WR | Lelie, Ashley | BRNC | 3 | WR | Driver, Donald | PCKR | 1 | |
| PK | Team PK, CHGR | CHGR | 10 | PK | Team PK, BUCS | BUCS | 5 | |
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Ebonic Plague 47 Hi Definition Weasels 41 In a game marred by bad blood and worse puns, Ebonic Plague handed bitter rival, Hi Definition Weasels, a stinging defeat. The difference was quarterback play, as the Eb coach watched with mixed emotions as the Viking’s Dante Culpepper outscored Brett Favre 25-6. |
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| Ebonic Plague | at | Hi Definition Weasels | ||||||
| Active Players | ||||||||
| QB | Culpepper, Daunte | VIKS | 25 | QB | Favre, Brett | PCKR | 6 | |
| RB | Barlow, Kevan | 49RS | 2 | RB | Bell, Tatum | BRNC | 0 | |
| RB | Jones, Julius | CWBY | 0 | RB | Duckett, T.J. | FALC | 0 | |
| WR | Holt, Torry | RAMS | 3 | WR | Givens, David | PATS | 3 | |
| WR | Horn, Joe | SNTS | 4 | WR | Moss, Randy | VIKS | 13 | |
| WR | Porter, Jerry | RDRS | 1 | WR | Stallworth, Donte' | SNTS | 1 | |
| PK | Team PK, CHFS | CHFS | 8 | PK | Team PK, LION | LION | 8 | |
| DF | Team Defense, EAGL | EAGL | 4 | DF | Team Defense, TITN | TITN | 10 | |
| Reserve Players | ||||||||
| QB | Carr, David | TEXN | 1 | QB | Manning, Peyton | COLT | 11 | |
| RB | Dayne, Ron | GIAN | 7 | RB | Barber, Tiki | GIAN | 14 | |
| RB | Jackson, Steven | RAMS | 1 | WR | Evans, Lee | BILL | 0 | |
| RB | Williams, Ricky | COLT | 0 | WR | Houshmandzadeh, T.J. | BNGL | 1 | |
| WR | Fitzgerald, Larry | CARD | 2 | TE | Mili, Itula | SEAH | 0 | |
| WR | McCareins, Justin | JETS | 2 | TE | Shockey, Jeremy | GIAN | 1 | |
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Sewage Serpents 64 Extended Area 48 In the only inter-division match-up of the day, Sewage Serpents rode a Priest and the wings of an Eagle to victory over the triple innuendo named, Extended (hey, Butthead, he said extended) Area. |
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| Extended Area | at | Sewage Serpents | ||||||
| Active Players | ||||||||
| QB | Brady, Tom | PATS | 16 | QB | Vick, Michael | FALC | 5 | |
| RB | Brown, Chris | TITN | 4 | RB | Davis, Stephen | PTHR | 1 | |
| RB | Tomlinson, LaDainian | CHGR | 10 | RB | Holmes, Priest | CHFS | 24 | |
| WR | Jackson, Darrell | SEAH | 3 | WR | Owens, Terrell | EAGL | 20 | |
| WR | Johnson, Chad | BNGL | 9 | WR | Walker, Javon | PCKR | 1 | |
| WR | Wayne, Reggie | COLT | 1 | WR | Warrick, Peter | BNGL | 3 | |
| PK | Team PK, RAVN | RAVN | 4 | PK | Team PK, COLT | COLT | 6 | |
| DF | Team Defense, PTHR | PTHR | 1 | DF | Team Defense, PATS | PATS | 4 | |
| Reserve Players | ||||||||
| QB | Brunell, Mark | SKNS | 1 | RB | Garner, Charlie | BUCS | 1 | |
| RB | Foster, DeShaun | PTHR | 0 | RB | McGahee, Willis | BILL | 1 | |
| RB | Griffin, Quentin | BRNC | 23 | WR | Robinson, Marcus | VIKS | 8 | |
| RB | Williams, Moe | VIKS | 1 | WR | Williams, Roy | LION | 2 | |
| WR | Branch, Deion | PATS | 8 | PK | Team PK, PATS | PATS | 10 | |
| WR | Hall, Dante | CHFS | 0 | DF | Team Defense, BRNC | BRNC | 2 | |
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Inappropriate Figurines 62 Lay Z Boy 62 Ahman Green lead the Inappropriate Figurines from 20 points down to yards away from victory. The drive came up short and enabling Lay Z Boy to escape with a tie. Both coaches were disappointed with the play of their defense. “Scoring 62 points and only getting a tie is like licking a goat.”, deadpanned one unnamed coach. |
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| Inappropriate Figurines | at | Lay Z Boy | ||||||
| Active Players | ||||||||
| QB | Hasselbeck, Matt | SEAH | 7 | QB | Palmer, Carson | BNGL | 11 | |
| RB | Davis, Domanick | TEXN | 15 | RB | Alexander, Shaun | SEAH | 24 | |
| RB | Green, Ahman | PCKR | 22 | RB | Faulk, Marshall | RAMS | 7 | |
| WR | Johnson, Andre | TEXN | 2 | WR | Burress, Plaxico | STLR | 0 | |
| WR | Moulds, Eric | BILL | 8 | WR | Rogers, Charles | LION | 0 | |
| WR | Price, Peerless | FALC | 2 | WR | Smith, Steve | PTHR | 2 | |
| PK | Team PK, VIKS | VIKS | 5 | PK | Team PK, RAMS | RAMS | 11 | |
| DF | Team Defense, RAMS | RAMS | 1 | DF | Team Defense, BUCS | BUCS | 7 | |
| Reserve Players | ||||||||
| QB | McNair, Steve | TITN | 5 | QB | Testaverde, Vinny | CWBY | 9 | |
| RB | Martin, Curtis | JETS | 19 | RB | Bennett, Michael | VIKS | 0 | |
| RB | Minor, Travis | DLPN | 1 | RB | Wheatley, Tyrone | RDRS | 0 | |
| WR | Gardner, Rod | SKNS | 2 | WR | Coles, Laveranues | SKNS | 1 | |
| WR | Morgan, Quincy | BRWN | 7 | WR | Davis, Andre' | BRWN | 2 | |
| WR | Toomer, Amani | GIAN | 1 | WR | Kennison, Eddie | CHFS | 4 | |