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Ministers Overcome Plague

Despite this headline writers inability to insert a Moses reference into this paragraph, the Sinister Ministers took their second Souper Bowl, denying Ebonic Plague the chance to be only the second team to defend the Bill Goldsworthy Cup, and the only franchise in the league to win three. Just like in olden-times, Kurt Warner threw for 300+ yards and 3TDs to earn game MVP.

Triple Threat salvaged something from the playoffs, taking the Sister Kissing Bowl for the second straight year. Controversy off the field clouded the game and put its future in jeopardy. See the Game Reports for the full story on this and the other games.

RABEFL 2007 - Week 16

Game Results for Week 16

Schedule for Week 17

Points Played Percentages

Average Active Points Scored (by Position per Game)

Average Active Points Against (by Position per Game)

Opponent Averages Report Through Week 16

Game Reports

Game Results for Week 16

Championship Bracket
Souper Bowl XV
Sinister Ministers 49 Ebonic Plague 24
 
Third Place Game
Triple Threat 45 Whohawho 33
 
Consolation Bracket
Anorexic Santas 56 Fighting Sioux 35
Catholic Nun and the Posse 44 Lay Z Boy 28

Schedule for Week 17

Didn't Bother to Sponsor it Toilet Bowl

Anorexic Santas (8-9) at Catholic Nun and the Posse (10-7)




Points Played Percentages

Team Name                           Possible  Actual  Points  Percentage Games
                                    Points    Points  Lost    Played     Played
Triple Threat                        870       791      79     90.92%      17
Anorexic Santas                      763       658     105     86.24%      17
Catholic Nun and the Posse           897       770     127     85.84%      17
Sinister Ministers                   916       748     168     81.66%      17
Fighting Sioux                       960       781     179     81.35%      17
Injury Prone                         690       560     130     81.16%      15
Ebonic Plague                        682       553     129     81.09%      17
Backyard Bullies                     596       473     123     79.36%      15
Buck Snort                           687       530     157     77.15%      15
Tame Your Weasel                     548       407     141     74.27%      15
Lay Z Boy                           1057       763     294     72.19%      17
Whohawho                             851       606     245     71.21%      17




Average Active Points Scored (by Position per Game)

Team Name                          QB     RB     WR       TE     PK    TOTAL
Lay Z Boy                        8.76  16.18  10.06     3.88   6.00    44.88
Anorexic Santas                  7.53  11.71  11.18     1.00   7.00    38.41
Triple Threat                   15.76   9.18   9.47     5.29   6.82    46.53
Catholic Nun and the Posse       6.50  12.44  15.00     3.61   7.06    44.61
Fighting Sioux                   4.65  17.94  11.59     3.18   8.29    45.65
Ebonic Plague                    7.35   8.41   7.76     0.71   8.29    32.53
Whohawho                         7.29  12.12   4.88     3.94   7.41    35.65
Sinister Ministers               5.76  13.53  13.88     4.41   6.41    44.00
Tame Your Weasel                 5.60   7.33   6.53     3.20   4.60    27.27
Buck Snort                      10.43   4.64  10.21     2.43   7.93    35.64
Injury Prone                    10.13   6.47   7.80     5.00   7.93    37.33
Backyard Bullies                 7.07   7.60  10.47     0.07   6.47    31.67
LEAGUE AVERAGES                  8.04  10.84   9.97     3.08   7.03    38.96





Average Active Points Against (by Position per Game)

Team Name                          QB     RB     WR       TE     PK    TOTAL
Lay Z Boy                        9.53  10.18  12.53     2.94   8.18    43.35
Anorexic Santas                  8.47   9.88  11.76     3.65   7.35    41.12
Triple Threat                    6.59  10.82   7.82     2.12   6.59    33.94
Catholic Nun and the Posse       7.89   9.95   9.47     3.68   6.26    37.26
Fighting Sioux                   7.60  10.73   7.27     4.87   6.13    36.60
Ebonic Plague                    7.94  10.00   9.71     2.59   5.59    35.82
Whohawho                         8.12  11.76  10.53     1.88   7.88    40.18
Sinister Ministers               9.94   9.65  11.94     2.29   7.59    41.41
Tame Your Weasel                 8.33  11.53   6.33     2.93   7.33    36.47
Buck Snort                       5.79  13.00  11.64     3.79   7.43    41.64
Injury Prone                     8.00  11.53  11.80     3.60   6.13    41.07
Backyard Bullies                 7.88  11.69   8.63     2.94   7.88    39.00
LEAGUE AVERAGES                  8.04  10.84   9.97     3.08   7.03    38.96





Opponent Averages Report Through Week 16

                       Average   Opponent Avg  Opponent Actual   Points
Team Name            Points/Game  Points/Game    Points/Game   From Average
Ebonic Plague           33.00        39.47          36.29         -3.18
Triple Threat           47.12        37.41          34.29         -3.12
Tame Your Weasel        27.60        40.05          37.00         -3.05
Fighting Sioux          46.53        38.64          37.47         -1.16
Catholic Nun and the    45.88        38.39          38.29         -0.10
Buck Snort              35.80        40.60          40.80          0.20
Whohawho                36.06        40.50          40.76          0.26
Backyard Bullies        32.00        39.50          39.93          0.44
Anorexic Santas         39.18        40.70          41.71          1.00
Injury Prone            37.80        40.16          41.73          1.57
Sinister Ministers      44.47        39.73          41.94          2.21
Lay Z Boy               45.41        38.89          43.71          4.82

Game Reports

Souper Bowl XV

Sinister Ministers 49 Ebonic Plague 24

In what turned out to be an unlikely match-up for the big game, Kurt Warner lead Sinister Ministers (11-6) past Ebonic Plague (9-8) and to their second Souper Bowl, the first since 1997. It also continued a statistically unlikely, and rather morbid of me to notice statistic, of winning titles on the years that Bob has a parent die. “This one’s for Earl”, claimed former Minnesota resident, Randy Moss, “For him and of course for the money.”

For the 11th in the points Ebs, their main strength was playing teams on the weeks when their offense takes a vacation. Unfortunately, they got a taste of their own medicine (tastes like chicken according to a team source), as just three players scoring was not going to cut it this week, not against the fired-up Sins.

Sister Kissing Bowl

Triple Threat 45 Whohawho 33

In the “Why Did We Add This Back Again?” game of the week, former teammates, turned bloodthirsty enemies, met to decide just who was the Sister Kissing King. Shortly before the game, the Hennepin County branch of the PC Police busted into the RABEFL offices, charging that the name of the bowl game not only encouraged incest, but had also been misnamed all these years. “Second place is the one where that phrase is used. Third place doesn’t really have a catchy moniker.” While league officials laughed off the first charge, the second touched off a scandal, with promises of a “full investigation to see how this could have been missed all these years”.

After temporarily lifting the restraining order, the game got underway and turned out to be well played. The tackled position played to draw and it came down to the kickers. Texan Kris Brown could only corral one point while owner of a name that would make Beavis and Butthead giggle, Neil Rackers, was well into double-digits.

Consolation Semi-Final

Anorexic Santas 56 Fighting Sioux 35

With their first 4 draft picks finally all playing at the same time, Anorexic Santas (8-9) continued their late season surge, ousting their-turn-for-injuries, Fighting Sioux (11-6) and going to their second straight Toilet Bowl. It was a tough exit for the number two seeded, Fights. “We’ll be back and as strong as ever next year.” the team median confidently predicted.

Consolation Semi-Final

Catholic Nun and the Posse 44 Lay Z Boy 28

After playing for the division title earlier in the season, this game had a little less on the line, a spot in the poorly-funded Toilet Bowl, but the rivalry still cut deep. It was reported that at least one of the owners was aware that he was still in the playoffs and could still win a bit of moola.

 

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