Leo Wolfe was 97 years old when he died. When someone lives that long you’ve got to wonder – what did he know about living that we might benefit from? Dad was never one to preach or lecture or even give advice, unless asked. As a result, it wouldn’t be possible to compile his wisdom as a series of aphorisms. Dad was one to teach by example, so I thought I might try to put into words (words that he may never have used), a few of his “examples” that any of us can consider taking up.

The first one was – teach by example. Dad lived what he valued. He worked hard, and was a steady provider for our family. He pursued his own interests with enthusiasm when he wasn’t working, whether it was shooting, hunting, hiking, bicycle riding, woodworking, or reading. He always made time for the things he loved.

Second example – in human relationships, Dad listened more than he talked. He was interested in other people, characteristically saying, “Is that right…” When Dad did talk, he was a great storyteller and jokester, and often you couldn’t tell the difference until the punch line caught you by surprise. I’m not sure where this attribute came from, but it was very reminiscent of the way the First Nations people, whom he had worked with for decades, interacted. He had an easy fit with them, in my observation.

The third thing to notice about Dad was that he was pretty darn healthy. How did he achieve this? Self-discipline was one of his hallmark values and examples. He got regular exercise, quit smoking by reading a book when we were young kids, quit drinking alcohol when he thought it was affecting his well-being, and he quit eating red meat when he thought it influenced his blood pressure. Having said all of that, Dad did not worry about his health. In fact, when he and Mom moved to Spokane from Durango they had to find a new doctor. At the first visit with his new physician, he famously said, “And Doctor, if you find anything wrong with me, keep it to yourself.” His other life-giving health habit was taking 20-minute naps in the afternoon right after lunch. I don’t know what he did when he was working, but he consistently took naps after his retirement, any day that he possibly could.

Example four - Dad did not seem to worry about anything, or if he did, he kept it to himself. But more often than not, Dad just met what came his way with equanimity. At no time was this more evident than as he aged and endured one loss after another. After being an avid cyclist for years, Dad stopped riding when he didn’t think his balance was good enough anymore. In the time he lived here in Riverview he quit shooting, eventually stopped gardening, and he let go of working in the wood shop after he had an accident with a band saw (off with the first digit of the middle finger). When he and Mom moved from independent living to the Terrace, Dad quit driving. These are big losses in the life of an active and independent man, and Dad took them in stride. They were his idea. He knew his capacity and stayed within what he thought he could safely do. He kept reading, kept smiling, kept enjoying the arts, and kept enjoying the people around him.

And he kept company with my mother for 7 1/2 years after she had a stroke that completely changed her life. He willingly stepped into tasks that she had been handling, which required learning new things and accepting help where needed. He stood by Mom as she navigated a whole new life of increasing disability. His love and care for her was constant, even when he was unable to do much more for her than adjust her sweater. He kept a positive outlook and met each new day fresh. He set a remarkable example of meeting aging and loss with grace.

So I say to you, Dad, thank you for the example of your life. You made the best of living long so that we could continue to learn from you right up to your last breath.

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