My Dad was a steady, reliable and willing parent. He went to work every day, he came home when expected, and he had hobbies and pastimes that he shared with family members who wanted to be included. He was perfectly content with doing what he enjoyed on his own. He was often the driver transporting any or all his five children any number of miles to dentist, doctor, college, concerts, Evelyn Wood speed reading instruction and numerous road trips. Dad was the sole support of his family for most of the growing up years of his five children. We were aware that “money doesn’t grow on trees”, but I do not remember ever going without anything I really wanted.

My Dad had many interests; many of which I was not aware. He had long time friends that he stayed in touch with for as long as he was able. Many of them he outlived, which makes me sad to realize. He did extensive hiking and camping with his friend, John Ross, on the Pacific Crest Trail. In my early childhood, when we lived in New Mexico he went deer hunting every year. When he shot a deer, we knew it when we came home from school because the liver would be in the kitchen sink. He always hung the carcass in our garage which was a way from the house down the alley. I remember one time I got the nerve to go to the garage when he was there skinning the deer. It didn’t seem so scary or gross (although I didn’t know that word at the time) as I had feared. Dad made it as natural a process as any other that is a part of living and dying. He always pursued self-improvement such as spelling. He quit smoking based on reading a book. These books were in evidence on the book shelves in our home during my formative years, inviting me to read and learn as he did. My Dad was also a voracious reader of books of all manner. In the end, he didn’t care what he was reading, he just wanted books to read, until he couldn’t read any more.

My Dad was self-sufficient and self-contained, as mentioned before. He was difficult to buy gifts for because he always got what he wanted for himself and he didn’t really want much anyway. In his last years, we finally were able to buy for him and provide things he needed for him. I don’t think there was any doubt in any of his children that he loved us, although he wasn’t comfortable expressing his feelings. A memory I have that solidifies this belief for me is of a morning when I was probably in high school and Dad was going on a business trip, which didn’t happen often. Our Mom was attempting to get all five of us kids to give Dad a hug and a kiss good-bye. We were all, including Dad, shuffling and stammering around and giving him a quick peck, if that. Mom was insightfully giving us the opportunity to express our feelings toward each other as Dad embarked on time away from the family. Mom, being the more hands-on with the kids’ parent, Dad was the go-ask-your-mom kind of Dad. It seemed to work quite well at the time.

My Dad was faithful to his religion. He fulfilled his vow to raise his children in the Catholic church and I, for one, attended Sunday mass every single Sunday of my life (unless contagiously ill) while growing up and even after I went to college at WSU for two years. I am the only one of the five of us to return to the liturgical tradition, however, reformed as a Lutheran. Apparently, I was embedded with his faithful consistency and ability to grasp on, without questioning, something I was born into. For that I thank my Dad and did thank him when he was alive and cogent enough to converse with on this topic. It was a telephone call I am extremely grateful that I made.

My Dad was fiercely independent and was not comfortable being “taken care of” in his declining years, yet he was a model patient in his final months after a fractured hip, hospital, rehab center, physical therapy and, ultimately Hospice House. If he had any inkling what had been decided for him as he proceeded to his final destination, he didn’t fight it or protest. He took it in stride as a natural part of the living and dying process, as was his way. The nurses at Hospice House said that his passing was one of the most peaceful they had ever seen. He left behind a great legacy for the rest of us to follow. He was a great man in his own right and if we, his immediate and extended family, are the only ones to know it, that would be quite enough for him. I love you, Dad.