Another MX Bob Lyric - Santa the Drunken Wino
(sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Santa the drunken wino
works in the department store.
And when the poor kids smell him
they start heading towards the door

All of the children's parents
wondered how he got his job.
Why would this nice store hire
a big drunken smelly slob?

Then along came Christmas Eve.
Santa drank too much
He tried to get up in haste
but blew chunks in some boy's face

Then the kid just plain freaked out
and so did his family
The boy should be all right though
after years of therapy